Welcome back to the Randomizer!
Just to clear things up first, some of you may have read
that I have decided to take an extended break from doing The Randomizer,
feeling I can’t continue coming up with many more subjects to realistically
talk about. I have decided to go through with that decision, and this will be
my second to last blog. Really, it comes down to being the best decision I can
think for the moment. With the book coming along and nearing completion of its
drafts, I need more time with that. Though I do enjoy writing these blogs, I
always knew it wasn’t going to last as long as I want to have a career in
writing, and other things will need to take precedence. So yes, I will be taking
an extended break from my blog. How long that will be exactly, remains to be
seen.
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| Maybe I'll find the answer in here... |
For the next two blogs now, they will be pretty important
ones. For May, that will be a continuing of the autism theme I have going, and
my last one for the moment. For this month, concerns a subject that has, like
young adult fiction, bugged me for a time.
Beauty Standards.
An age old problem since the dawn of time, or maybe some
point in the past, Beauty Standards are a controversial topic in today’s
society. An ideal of one perception to attain, so that women, mostly women I’ll
be talking about today, will feel finally beautiful, and eye-catching and
comfortable. There’s so much in magazines, celebrity gossip, and much media in
general that keep persisting in showing what beauty is.
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| Who/what are the hands on the eyes of the beholder? |
Of course, we all have read the darker side of feeling “beautiful”.
We have read and seen how many can be affected in unhealthy ways, leading to
mental health problems and even death. It’s a big problem we have over the
world, not just in our western society, but a huge number of perceptions from
many outlooks: cultures, media, historical basis, the list is huge. I want to
try and dispel some of the understandings that Beauty Standards put across, and
show that at the end of the day, you yourself, the reader, are beautiful, no
matter what beauty standards leads us to believe.
Now, I will be going a little further in extending out to
include make-up into this, and understanding why some women use make-up for
differing reasons. It will help show how women feel using it, and give a better
understanding on whether it’s a more community aspect, or personal aspect, if
that makes sense. As well, it’s fair to include men in this as well, and maybe
even talk about how I feel about my body, even if I’m trying to get into the
mind-set of ‘I’m beautiful too, regardless’.
These points will eventually come to the final question at
the end: Attaining or Acceptance. It may be worth keeping this question in mind
while you read on, as it may enlighten one somewhat.
So let’s explore the strange beast of Beauty Standards.
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Let’s start with how we perceive beauty nowadays in
societies around the world.
Our own western culture is more or less focused on being
skinny, with perhaps the addition of fake tanned skin that I’ve seen as
popularly used, a thigh gap that I have seen a few times on Facebook, and
following magazines of what is considered to be “beautiful”, despite apparent
accusations and uses of Photoshop in the work. Our media focuses a lot on many
women who are, by definition, thin, appearing in all sorts of music videos,
television shows, and films. The only real TV show I can think of that has a,
and I don’t mean this in a horrible way, “fat” protagonist is My Mad Fat Diary,
with Sharon Rooney being the main protagonist. If you haven’t watched it, stop
reading and watch it now. Well, watch it after you’ve read the blog please.
In different cultures, you will find some similarities
against Western culture, perhaps even assimilated. In China, there have been
pictures shared of mostly women and some men comparing their thin bodies, to a
piece of lengthways A4 paper. To see those images is quite disturbing, to say
the least, because it shows how much people are willing to go to attain, then
maintain, perfection, for BOTH genders. Mibs Bayliss posted on Facebook a few
weeks ago about how it’s a ridiculous challenge, and how it is damaging in our
society, especially now she is the mother of a little daughter herself. It’s a fundamental
point very well made.
However, that myth of being skinny as “beautiful” can be
trounced on by some of the other perceptions around the world. Some of you will
have heard about how Superdrug Online Doctor had created a page called ‘Perceptions
of Perfection’. Those who don’t know, Superdrug asked a number of women in
different countries to Photoshop a picture of a woman, to suit what they think
is attractive to people in their country. The results are intriguing, with China
and Italy being the skinniest, Spain and Peru being the most voluptuous. So the
word “Western” just applies to the U.K. and the U.S.A then. Logical.
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Those same people also did a male version, with again
interesting and contrasting results. China again and from the looks of it
Bangladesh have the thinnest bodies, while this time Nigeria and Serbia have
the biggest bellies, and U.S.A and Egypt have the most six-pack abs. Again, the
word “Western” just applies to the U.K. and the U.S.A. seemingly, and just
destroys the conception of what is “beautiful” in our faces.
“Beautiful” then, it can be argued, doesn’t really have a definition
in any society, as more of a conception of opinions, that we have created
ourselves. Throughout history from the Egyptians, to the Romans, to the
Medieval, to the Georgian, to the Victorian, to the 20th century, to
today, the idea of something “beautiful” has changed so many times, it’s like
swapping out a jigsaw puzzle piece of a country that says “thin”, for the same
piece that this time says “voluptuous”. “Beautiful” has become a byword for differing
social constructs, which means that there’s no one definition, even going
further that many people in those countries selected will have different perceptions,
to the majority. That’s what beautiful is, perception of preference, and that
could even be a problem itself.
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| Beautiful....and tasty! |
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The next thing I’m going to talk about is make-up.
Make-up has been around for a very long time, around 7,000
years ago in Mesopotomia, now southern Iraq. Possibly ever since then but
nevertheless, it has become a massive industry, allowing women and men to use
lipstick, foundation, eye-liner etc, for whatever reason they saw fit for use,
remaining big to this day. The big question is when using make-up is: Why? Why
wear make-up at all?
Again, like our perceptions of beautiful, there is no one
standard. A question from the site Buzzfeed asking 14 women why they make-up
got varied responses, from ‘I wanna see all the versions of myself I can
possibly find’, to ‘I think I just look better with it, tbh’, to ‘because it’s
fun’, to ‘It’s a form of performance and gender play’. They are interesting
responses because they show on a personal level how much each one values
make-up, as either a confidence boost or finding who you are. The last answer
is intriguing because, to me, it’s a mask to boost up femininity in that woman’s
life so to speak.
This does lead to another more poignant question: When some women
wear make-up, are they masking themselves to their own insecurities, in that
they can’t feel comfortable in their own skin? Also, just as importantly, is
make-up just a mask itself?
Yes, I believe, because for a number of reasons. One is,
perhaps some women feel incomplete without it, in that they don’t feel like
themselves until they have completed their beauty regime, then they can face
the day head on. That answers the second question as well to a point, because
make-up helps complete the image of completion. Another reason is, quite
obviously, confidence boosting. Having make-up that hides the winkles,
blemishes and other “imperfections”, would make one feel better about themselves,
and help attain some form of perfection, feeling “beautiful” in the process.
For the second question, again I do think make-up is just a
mask, a tool to help ourselves, a delaying tactic. Make-up doesn’t really help
to make us feel comfortable, if we really think about it. It just does its job
of covering up for women to feel comfortable, a discord to mislead us into being
confident and “beautiful”, and being in control of our appearance when really,
and I don’t mean this in the wrong way, it gives women an easy out and not in
control thanks to make-up companies, who ask for your attention to their
products that will make you beautiful. It’s an invisible double-edged sword
that hangs over your head.
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| This is the sign for Drogon to destroy the make-up companies. |
I’ll bring men in here for a minute because some do wear
make-up as well for different reasons, much like some women. Some may wear it
because they’re transsexuals (though some may not), acting in a role that
requires it, sport fans, wearing a costume, or because they feel like it. Of
course, you don’t see that many make-up for men commercials, only for women. You
could argue that is a gender divide, since in mainstream culture men tend not
to have much reason for wearing make-up socially.
Socially is the point here, because it seems more directed
toward women to have that confidence in products, while men perhaps need not
worry so much, unless they want to use make-up. Historically through to today,
there have men and women wearing tribal war paint on faces, like Native
Americans, Maori, and popularly, though inaccurately, the Celts. Perhaps
overtime or never, it become socially unacceptable for western men to wear
make-up, for various reasons. That is my opinion until I can ratify that with
fact, which would take a while.
Make-up then is a great powerful tool. It may give off a
sense of false self-confidence, because it allows to cover and not really accept
ourselves. We buy all sorts because we want to feel “beautiful”, “powerful”, and
“in control”, yet we are not in control and powerful if we’re buying these
products. That power is a false entity, which some women have given themselves
over to, perhaps knowingly or not. As well, it might lead to a sort of physical
Identity Crisis, a feeling that you need make-up to feel comfortable, to be
yourself. Bear in mind again, that latter part is strictly opinion, I’m not a
doctor/therapist. Though I can give out good hugs.
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So keeping those two points in mind, we come to the final
question: Attaining or Acceptance? Seems to be more of a complicated answer
then we imagine.
Attaining perfection, when it comes to make-up, is a
continuing process, requiring a lot of money and a lot of time. You’re in a
circle of trying to make yourself “beautiful” because of a number of reasons,
like I’ve stated above. Coming more sort of permanent issues, like plastic
surgery, it’s more difficult to get inside because you can change your appearance
as you see fit, be it breasts, bum, tummy tucking etc. It may build up your
self-esteem that much more having something you want, but that self-esteem may
also feel like false confidence, because having something done is giving
yourself an easy-out. It’s just making yourself feel better for the sake of
making yourself feel better.
Now, acceptance, is sort of an continuing process as well,
but it a process of being aware too of thinking, ‘I look like crap…wait a
minute, that’s a thought of thinking I’m ugly…I don’t think I look that bad
actually’. That is one example of how you could go about as a process. Accepting
yourself is a long process of course, and requires perhaps some mental work to
tell yourself, ‘I don’t look that bad, my body is the way it is’. Having big
boobs is perfectly fine, having long legs is perfectly fine, and having a small
penis is perfectly fine. The thing is, you have what you have, and you can use
that to your advantage how much you want.
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| Destination: Self |
I do wonder however if there’s a point about compromise, in
terms of a few points. What about first impressions, if for example you’re
meeting a guy/girl/applying for a job, or something along those lines? Of
course, keeping yourself clean and tidy is a given. If you looked smart from
wearing professional clothes, or smart casual on a date, then that’s just important
to choose what clothes to wear for yourself. Feel comfortable being yourself.
Another thing that is important to note is weight loss. If you
personally want to lose weight for feeling better about yourself or some other
reason, it’s perfectly fine too. I’d still think it wouldn’t mean you should
think yourself as ugly if you had put on a little weight, I’d be inclined to
think be careful with what you’re eating for future reference. Again, feeling
comfortable with yourself.
It’s a sort of hypocritical line I think I’m seeing, because
you do have a choice in changing yourself to a point, with the clothes you wear
and keeping your weight down if you so choose. But it’s also a point to try and
see where I’m coming from. If you think your body is not nice, that might be
you telling yourself that because you’re feeling low about your body. Looking
yourself in the mirror and thinking that you are beautiful regardless of having
weight gain, may give you a little boost in self-esteem.
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| Meoooooooooooor! |
Of course, men do have self-esteem issues too. I myself have
felt awkward about my body, from such things like being hairy, having a sort of
uni-brow, and being quite big myself. There was an article I did read on the
internet, about how you could look yourself naked, yes, naked, in the mirror,
then making notes on the bits you like, and the bits you don’t. It might be a
point to look at yourself in the mirror and just say, while being aware of what’s
floating in your mind, ‘I look beautiful’. That make sense?
Acceptance goes a long way in helping you realise that you
are perfect anyway, regardless of the stigmas created by social perceptions. Attaining
perfection is a short-term goal with long term implications to a point, a major
one being you’ll never feel fully comfortable with yourself. That’s the main
thing: Acceptance = Comfortable.
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Beauty Standards then, realistically, is a load of bull. There’s
no widely accepted term of what beautiful is, because the term “Beautiful” is
really just a perception, one we all individually have, and even then it’s
become more of a social conception, which may lead either gender to think, ‘I’m
not beautiful’, or whatever pops into one’s head.
Acceptance is perhaps the best way to see that despite what
social conceptions there are, they ultimately don’t matter. I don’t deny that
there may be some long term balancing to work out for certain points like I’ve
mentioned, and accepting yourself will take some time, but isn’t that better
than trying to attain something over a long period, that at the end, means you’ll
always be chasing it, unable to catch up?
Why shouldn’t Sharon Rooney…
…be less acceptable then Jennifer Lawrence?
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That’s it for this week.
My final blog will be coming soon, so watch this space.
Randomizer out.
